Thursday, March 30, 2006

Not all Curries are good...

If you had seen me this morning, you would have thought, wow, calm girl who seems to have all her cards well ordered. I spent my day comforting and hearing other people while they stressed out, freaked out, stormed about! I think I have a previous blog which states I would abstain from taking on other peoples stress. So, okay I wasn't successful. I not only took on the stress but I allowed it to make me raw. So when I saw this man...the crank fest began!

Who is this guy? Russell, PhD and my boss! One of my many bosses at this point. Today, he decided to be rather difficult. I asked for an extension on marking assignments...NO. Okay, fair enough. I was cranky but I didn't push it. Then I preceded to talk about a student I was helping. I was asked to describe the student because apparently the name was not good enough. So I tried, however I really despise describing people, ESPECIALLY when I have successfully presented a name. The student is an exchange student and when I admitted I cannot tell the difference between Taiwanese, Chinese or Japanese, I got the swift reply "You grew up here, didn't you?" WHAT FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?!??! And the conversation ocurred in front of TWO people...I was embarrassed and I felt like I had been reduced because of where I was raised!! No acknowledgement of my experience or my level of education...nope, I am reduced to a location! He continued to push even though he knew I was already irritated. Seriously who does that?!?!
Russell !

Shame on us, Bush



Not once, but twice the larger voting public looked at this face and thought "why not?" Seriously?


Okay, buckle in because what I heard this morning really pissed me off and also incensed me to write! Bush is a complete criminal. I can honestly say that since 2001 his activities in trying to bring 'freedom' to the world have been misguided and misinformed and complete propaganda. What makes me even more sick is that he has sent his own people to fight for what? OIL?? Because so far I have not seen anything that resembles freedom. What makes me even more livid is watching the death toll rise for soldiers who are sent overseas and no-one is posting how many people are dying as a result of US led occupation!!! I would really love to see someone put Bush on trial! Seriously, if we are going to condone Saddams treatment and trial, then the larger community really needs to hold Bush accountable for his actions while in office!

Back to the soldiers. I have been listening to CBC early in the morning. The radio is part of my morning routine. I check my email and gear up for the day while listening to the morning report and various interesting interviews. Lately, a large amount of the interviews have centered around the War in Iraq. More specifically whether Canadians should ask for their soldiers to come home. I am confident that the overall feeling is that our soldiers do not need to be over there sacrificing their lives for Bush's mess. Niether do American soldiers deserve to be over there. Anyways, there have been generals and such saying the Canadian public should basically keep their mouth shut becuase their opinions will demoralize those soldiers who believe their efforts are for the betterment of all peoples. Okay, valid to some degree. However, these generals and important members are sitting on a cushy seat in an office separated by an ocean talking to a reporter!! What the heck do they really know? Why do I say this? Because of Joshua Key.



Joshua Key is an American soldier who went AWOL. He is seeking refuge in Canada. Personally I feel Canadians should embrace him. Although I know Canadians taking in defecting American soldiers will not help the relationship with the US. I also I know that Bush and Harper are keen on eachother, especially since Harper is one of the people who actually thinks Bush is cool.
So what is Joshua's Story? I will give you the rundown I head on CBC. The interview was between a reporter and Joshua. So, Joshua signed up for the army. He chose a position that meant he would not have to go overseas. He would be stationed in the States. For awhile he was. The reporter asked him if soldiers who opt for stationing in the States ever think they will be asked to go overseas. He said that going overseas is a definite possibility for anyone who enlists. And he knew full well he could be made to go. However, he has a family, and he is poverty stricken. He needed the army so he could do his time, make money and then find job placements after his service. A story I have heard before...and not entirely a bad idea. Except Bush is your president and well US is at war...bad idea. Okay, so Joshua got the call to go overseas. His speciality was egineering bridges, however, the US army placed him in explosives because he scored high in his math exams. When Joshua was being shipped overseas he was told he would be put out in the desert and be part of team that is disarming landmines. Not a bad gig. Doing some good, cleaning up landmines, which is needed since several soldiers and civilians are being injured as a result of landmines. The story changed however when Joshua landed overseas he was told he will be part of raiding peoples homes. He admitted initially it was a bit of a rush. He laid a couple charges of c4 at the front door, the door would blow, and then about 6 soldiers would run into the house and remove the men outside while holding the women and children at gunpoint. The men of the house would be taken away for interrogation. After a while, Joshua admitted he and his soldier mates began to realize that the people were civilians and the US soldiers were keeping a pile of innocent people in a state of fear, not a state of freedom. When he got back to the US he ran for the border with his family. He has been in hiding but now is asking for help and speaking out. He said that about 80% of the soldiers in his unit felt what they were doing overseas is wrong...fundamentally wrong. However the commanders are telling them to shutup and do their job!! What the hell??
I checked out CBC website and it said of the 6,000 current troops a 150 have defected. I think that is a significant amount of soldiers considering all the training and brainwashing they endure to be even able to handle war. A 150 men defecting is HUGE when they are taught to never leave their team!
Okay that is my story.
I admit I am biased. I feel Bush has screwed over North America and put a HUGE target on our backs for retaliation and escalation. His efforts have injured to many innocent people who will remember for a very long time and hold hate in their hearts. Certainly, we have not seen the end. Simply removing Bush from office will not solve the problem, not one bit. However getting rid of him and ceasing war efforts and beginning rehabilitation efforts is needed NOW!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The final March...


Stress? Who's stressed? Surely not me? No WAY! Okay, you caught me! So, slowly dawning on me what I have to get done. I wish the dawning would come quicker so I could get to the order of the day!! However, not the case. I also don't think it helps that I am surrounded by several people give or take a 1000 who are also stressed out. Why? Well, I go to University and if there is one universal thing that students go through it is the final month of a semester...right now that month is March, with a tiny smattering of April. So, I am on campus daily and surrounded by stress cadets who are flipping out. My typical arguement is "Do what you can when you can...nothing more can happen over that, so why worry?" Okay, well that bullshit doesn't last too long with me, I still freak out and think what the fuck am I doing? It is okay though...last time I have to do the guantlet as an undergraduate. And when I say guantlet I mean guantlet...seriously some students should be given medals for the backflips they have to perform to make it through the final semester of classes! I don't flip so much as saunter...I learned in second year I can't panic, it gets me no where except with little sleep and drool hanging off my chin and really who wants to look at that? Certainly not me! So I finish assignments (crappy work but it is work) and go to my respective jobs...then I run into Carlos who says "wait until you are a PhD then you will know what busy means" and about that point in my Ally McBeal brain I rip his head off his shoulders and feed it to ravenous piranas. In reality I just laugh and say "okay carlos" *fucker*

What she told me...



















Nice picture....of a cancer cell. How can something be so beatiful and wonderfully composed and yet kill so efficiently?



A very dear friend yesterday managed to get me on the phone. For those of you who have my number you know what an amazing feat that is!! We had a nice quick conversation while I headed toward class. Near the end of the conversation she quickly said, "I felt a lump in my armpit...it is sore". I stopped walking, the courtyard at the campus seemed to close in on me and I noticed the grass seemed really green. Odd things to sense. I went to all the wrong places in my head, I may have even panicked on the phone. I asked her if she had seen her doctor.."no"...she wondered if it was important enough for her to go to the walk-in clinic? I said 'yes'. I said yes because I felt it was more important for me to know she had seen a professional, it was more important for me to know someone who is rational could look at her lump and say, "you're okay". Although, in my head I was freaking out! Jaidan had a lump, it was sore...he died four months later. And that is where I went with my dear friend...I didn't say these thoughts to her, but I did start crying and because she is my friend she knew where I went and she attempted to change the subject...although I didn't let her until she said she would go to the walk-in clinic and get an opinion on the lump...I made her PROMISE as well as told her to call me and keep me updated. I was standing in the courtyard fighting hard as hell to fight back my tears. She kept talking but I wonder if I was there because I was trying to figure out if I could survive her sickness. So selfish I know...it is her life, however she has affected me so profoundly. She is a piece of me and I don't have many pieces so I really want to hold on to her. I thought immediately I wouldn't make it through the grief of losing her. Although ten seconds later I became angry and realized I would survive. I, like many others, continue to go on, to fight past the pain.
The sigh of relief to my whole story is I got a phone message approximately two - three hours later, it was her saying, 'I went to the doctor and it is a cyst and he gave me a prescription for anti-biotics'...WOOT! Now I can continue trying to convince her to adopt children!! Cause mighty-o-lady she is and there are children who need her brand of loving and cheer!

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Body


The body is a contentious place for most people to be. In addition none of us can get free of our body whether we like our body or not. I always have my ears and eyes open and what I am witnessing is obscene. An increasing amount of people who are obsessing in unnatural ways about their body. As a result of the obsession the very same people are finding very unhealthy and psychologically damaging ways to deal with the body. I have a very dear friend who struggles with embracing herself and giving herself a break. I love her so much, even my first impression of her was "wow she is beautiful and amazing". However, that is my impression of her, not her impression of her. I have watched her through highs and lows of her trying to find a way to be comfortable with herself and her comfort level has always been centred on her body. She isn't alone in her comfort level. I increasingly meet more and more people who aren't comfortable with themselves unless their body is in good shape. I found it shocking that even people who are physically fit also based their wealth of personhood on their body.
Okay so perhaps it may appear to some who read this that I am harping on getting fit on being an ideal weight. I am not, I do believe it is important to be healthy, to remove the body physically from any health detriments. However, what is happening mentally? Studies show that mental well-being has as much of an impact on the overall health of a person as much as fat on the hips and chest does. How did these wonderful people get so far away from finding delight in the ability to create, to feel, to comfort, to socialize, to think, etc? How did they get so far from that and place the emphasis of self worth on the body?
The body is a hated entity. Very few people can acknowledge they love their body and even fewer can say that they have other qualities that are just as important to them (if not more) than the body.
What sparks my rant is I ran into someone who hadn't seen me for awhile and she said I looked good. She kept looking at my hips. Which I took to mean I have lost weight. This is likely because I walk to school everyday and now I am biking on Sundays. So in the five months she hasn't seen me I more than likely did lose weight. Although, I found myself afterwards mulling over what she said, because it didn't sit right with me. I was wearing nice clothes, I had make-up on, my hair in good shape and I had a beaming smile on. Also I went so far to enquire about her and say 'hi'. She knows I am school, she knows I am working somewhere else, she knows I am a writer. However, my weight loss is what makes me good? That is worth praise? It will be the central part of our discussion is my weight loss. BAH! How wretched!
I vow here and now I will not measure my life by the pounds I have or not have on my body. I will measure my life in my ability to make macaroni art, my ability to cook a meal, my ability to listen to a friend when he/she is upset or happy, my ability to write, my ability to walk into a room and smile brightly regardless of how shitty I feel!!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

overwhelmed

I just came from speaking with a PhD about my future Graduate plans. I am overwhelmed, I am frightened. The emotions don't come to me because I am afraid of my ability, I think, I believe I will do wonders in my Graduate program. I have complete confidence in myself to perform the tasks necessary. What scares me is my complete financial instability. HOW THE FUCK AM I PAYING FOR IT??? Okay, student loan...that is okay I am investing in my future. Okay, T.A. positions...depends on funding and competition from other students for those T.A. positions. I am searching out scholarships, actively. I am going to work over the summer...although that looks bleak the best I can hope to make is $10 an hour and I still have to pay rent and bills and food...maybe I can make food optional? I am scared that I will go through my graduate program the same way I am going through my undergraduate, working several jobs, cramming in courses...I am excited by my material..I know hard to believe, but I am one of the few who actually likes the work she is doing...but I have no time to immerse myself in the material and really enjoy it. Am I going to do that with my Masters?? Will I have a choice? I don't think so, I think the Masters program will be a scrape fest...
I am putting out the feelers though for a job that will pay good money...or what I might do is work several jobs at once...which I can do really well cause I won't be in school. I think if I can get to full time jobs and one part time I could really pull of saving up money and getting back on my feet!
Ugh, really wanted to get reaquainted with my friends again...say 'hi, how are you?' FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

MP3 Player

Oh yah, mama hit the big time. Finally my ship is coming in. Yikes I am a dork. In my defense though I have been lusting after a MP3 player for a VERY long time!!! I can't believe I finally have one!! True it isn't the one I have actually been drooling over, but in its defense the MP3 player I have holds approximately four hours of music!!! and somehow I have a choice in getting radio, although I am challenged so I may not find that feature for a while!!
Okay, so about now you are saying "How did you get this long sought after item, She?" Well, the local campus newspaper was running a contest. And because of the wonderfully supportive members on this campus I was able to win...wait let me put this in a way where sarcasm translates. NO ONE reads the fine print on the newspaper but because of "the Todd" I was pointed in the direction of the fine print and was able to answer some menial questions and consequently win the MP3 player....HOORAY me!!!
So, I had a piddly amount of songs on my disk but that didn't stop me, I loaded them onto the MP3 player and I am listening my little heart out until I get home and then comes the true test...which songs do I put on the player?!?!??!?! Oh it will be like chosing clothing to wear for the day...STRESS!!!
Okay so if anyone sees a contest for a laptop...HOOK ME UP, because that is my next lust fest...I WANT A LAPTOP SO BAD!!! A good one too!! Not some shitty little piece of shit shit that has less memory then a freaking calculator!! Oh the lessons we learn the hard way!!
Oh, Jack Johnson has never sounded so GOOD!
Thankyou Todd!! You are the shizna-ya-ya-shock-a-lot-a-boom-boom FOR SURE

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Lump


When I am fully aware of my mortality I am laying on my back with a hand behind my head and the other on my breast. The only time I try to count the bumps on my cieling or connect the silvery flecks on my cieling while marvelling at how someone got them to stick. Again I have to remember what the doctor said...which way do I palpate? Does that lump feel like a peanut? I am feeling my feminity and trying to figure out what the other markers are which tells me and others I am gendered and sexed female. Hair, I have grown it long. I can now pull my hair into a ponytail or wear it down letting it rest on my shoulders. Yes I have long hair, will my hair make me female? Makeup. I have invested many of my hard earned dollars into foundation, what exactly is my foundation supporting? Feminine! Eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara, because the colors will distinguish me from the male sex or gender. Clothing, I knew I should have bought more skirts. I never did like my legs. Perhaps the self loathing is what indicates I am female. I try not to think of the babies that couldn't feed from me if my breasts were gone. I try not to think of how my lover would be unable to touch me without noticing something very integral to identifying sex is missing. I do enjoy the sense of my lover on my breast, I try not to imagine what I would do without that sensation. I try to remove myself from the any ideas of removing my breasts in order to save my life as I touch my breasts to find what spells end of female, feminine, woman, lady, girl, ...me?

Time..tick tick tick

Hmm, I am confronted continually with the issue of time. Elaborate on this time thing if you will, okay. I feel like I do not have enough time to keep in touch, to accomplish what I need to, to enjoy the work I am doing. Everything feels like rush rush rush. Which right now I am reconciled to because rush rush rush will get me to graduation. Oh yah, Graduation is June 9th 2006, that is for Vicki. Well, actually I think this whole blog is for Vicki because she sparked it with an email. She asked me if I would be free Monday? For a phone call? A simple ol' phone call? Surely I can spare minutes for that. Well I feel like a shit cause I don't want to give Vicki minutes, I want to give Vicki hours...if not days. Perhaps in other blogs I will elaborate on the importance of Vicki...right now understand she is one of the dearest women in my life who I never want to disappoint but continually I do. Kind of like a mother you love and respect...that is Vicki except in best friend format.
Okay back on track with this time issue. So, currently this academic thing is sucking the life out of my clock. Every year I progress the more expensive it gets, the less money I have in my pocket, or bank account. Well, I am in the final year...guess how much I have? Well, I am not doing too horribly actually...I will tell you my secret! FIVE JOBS! All part time, but all time eaters when you piece them together...FIVE JOBS, FOUR CLASSES....and somewhere out there my life hangs waiting for me to come back to it. And what do I go and do...apply for the MASTERS program! Sorry life...I don't have time!
Then when I think of time I think of all those little sayings, cliches about time. Those self help freaks who chatise us goal oriented people about focusing our time on the wrong things...what if I die in two hours, two hours after I write this blog and I have spent all my time working and working? And that still doesn't change my behaviour! Why? Because I don't want to die with the regret that I didn't try my hardest to get away from the life I know into a life I desire.
And with that, I am off to walk the long road to school!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Dreamt


So, sometime during my sleep last night I dreamt about Jaidan. The dream was fairly disturbing. What I remember is that we came to discover Jaidan is alive, somehow he was alive. For me, in the dream, it meant never letting him go. I wouldn't take my eyes off of him, because I was afraid if I looked away he would disappear again. I was horrified in the dream because I had to deal with the knowledge that he is dead but now alive and the looming terror he may be die again. Within all my 'dreaming' emotions, I noticed I had forgotten certain facial features of Jaidan. That hurt the most, I started crying in my dream. Especially I fixated on his nose, somehow I had forgotten the shadow and curve of his nose.
I didn't realize I had dreamt about Jaidan until I started walking to school this morning. The dream was so very real and we were talking, I wish I could remember what we were talking about. I remember someone saying that when people you love come to you in your dreams it means they are actually coming to you. Dreams are the only way the dead can communicate fully with the living. So, I hold onto this information now. Why? I don't know. I suspect for now it is to cope with the loss of my brother, the loss of a very huge part of me. I always consider Jaidan's death the loss of my family. While biologically I am left with lots of family, Jaidan was truly what I term family.
I wish I could remember what him and I were talking about. And now I can feel the lethargy of the dream holding onto me. Walking to school I began to wonder how many things about Jaidan I have forgotten, how much of my brother has slipped from me? I hate that, I hate that I won't see his features anymore, won't smell him anymore, won't hear him anymore...only a year and a half has passed and I am still pissed off. I still cry.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sunday Biking

Today is the first day of biking with Jen. I biked to her place which took me a half hour...after meeting her we biked along lakeshore. I was hesitant at first because I really wanted a workout, I wanted a cardio push and I didn't think we would do it, but we did. I was impressed. Took us just over an hour to do our loop. During that time, she told me she was pregnant. WOW she is pregnant. Of course I have my own judgements, but they are exactly that, my own judgements. So, I congratulated her, asked her various questions on about our way we went. Of course I can't deny that her pregnancy makes me aware of my own fertility. I am torn because part of me would like the experience, however I want nothing to do with the life long commitment the child brings...I guess the future will tell...maybe in five years the blog will look different and I will have hundreds of nauseating pictures of "junior" on site...just enough to show I am a proud mama...BLECH!! For now my body is my body...and me and my partner are happy spending time with eachother as a couple.
The bike ride, is making me think I want to up how many times a week I go. I think I will try for three times although I think a day of sleeping in will be nice...so it will be two days of biking. Which is still good because of my desire to lose wieght.
Oh did I mention my roommates mother is here right now? Okay, so I am holed up in my room while the two of them are obnoxious and loud and making the dog bark and growl...FUCK!! I can't wait till I am free of this bullshit!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Vacuum

Let it be noted that today...I saw my roommate use a vacuum cleaner! Unfortunately the use of it was short lived! But I did actually see her use it!

Steve Biko

I am currently working through watching "Cry Freedom". The movie is about Steve Biko. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is a South African. His importance is founded in his tenacity and eloquence in articulating in very public ways the need for Apartheid to end and for all africans to be equal. Watch the movie...always remember Hollywood has a hand in representation. However if you aren't exposed to South Africa and issues of Apartheid then the movie will bring you a step closer.
I often wonder if Biko had lived. If he hadn't been beaten to death, if the guards had taken him to a hospital that was closer...if if if...we saw what Mandella did and does...where would Biko's voice be located today? And finally...who are the Steve Biko's today? I am not deluded in believing oppression is over. Imperialism and colonialism is live and well...how am I benefiting from the oppressive structure? How can I be part of ending oppression?

Procrastination...

How many times, how many times will I come back to the blog, because I am trying to escape my work at hand? I finally finished editing a paper for a PhD. He hired me officially last week to edit his papers...after I think I edited the most atrocious piece of writing I saw. Now wait when I say atrocious, I am not talking about the first year papers I mark. I am talking about a person who has had seven plus years of academia and I am assuming he also has taught for at least ten years! So, how in the hell can I be a better writer then him?!?! And I suck at writing papers!! Well for english anyways, give me a social science paper and I am off and running!
Regardless, I have made the decision to sell my soul. I am in a desperate crunch for money...not sure what I am going to do (whole other story). I do not and REFUSE to go back to the restuarant industry. So, as a consequence, I have to pick up a million little piece jobs in order to make ends meet while in school...have no clue what I will do for the summer, however I am holding out hope that the magic job fairy will fly in my window at night and bestow me with an amazing job opportunity. NOT LIKELY...but I am allowed to dream. Okay, so selling my soul...I am not really keen on this PhD person...he is odd. Very odd. I came to know him because he needed a teaching assistant for a very large class. Me and a peer agreed to split the hours...only to find out this guy likes being brutal to his students...it is his "time tested" approach. BAH!! What it is...oh I will tell you...it is set the guildlines for marking for T.A.'s and then when students fail send them the T.A.'s direction rather then taking the hit for your own damn guildlines!! And why do I still do it? Cause I need the money!! And how is that different from the restuarant? Still trying to figure it out!!
Okay, so slowly he decides he needs an editor for his own work...considering he is working for a university that is a publishing machine, he has to get on the publishing wagon FAST or he is out of a job! This is where I enter...and you would think that because he is such a bastard to his students and their papers that maybe his papers are of really high standard...I thought that! Foolish me! They are horrible! I have even seen comments from the journals he has tried to submit to...and WOW...they are disgusted by him as well! Well at least if I am editing the papers he can blame me instead of himself for not being able to get published. Thank goodness I don't need him for a reference, or I would be HOOPED!
Okay and in the midst of this am I doing any of my own work? Hellz NO! And with that comment I kick myself of the blog and get to my own academic persuits!

Adam

(This blog comes to you as I listen to CBC) (follow this link if you want something more coherent then my listener response http://www.rense.com/general38/adam.htm)
Sixteen year old boy claims to heal man who has pancreatic cancer. Man with cancer has three months to live...after seeing 16 yr old Adam, the cancer is gone from his pancreas. I heard it on CBC 1, the interview is SooK Lin Yi (sp?). Adam, what an appropriate name for a child who can heal...the father of man apparently is called this...depending on how much stock you put in the bible. Me not so much if any. Ronnie Hawkins is the fellow who claimed he was healed by Adam the healer. Why do I all of sudden feel like I am in the zoo? How much stock do I put in the ability of a child to heal or the desire to be healed? Did Ronnie want to be free of cancer so badly he healed himself? Well that would be ludicrous because anyone who has cancer wants to be free, I would essentially be saying that they do not desire to be free of it as much as Ronnie, therefore they will die. That doesn't work for me.
I guess I have to listen to the second half of the interview and see what Adam (who is now in university and apparently still healing) has to say.
I am telling you, CBC is the way to go!
Oh my goodness, Adam is from BC!
And Adam is a writer...three books released...oh my, and Adam is not his real name, he is trying to protect his identity. He is nineteen and claims to be regular, sports, school, bars, and heals people. He goes into discussion about his mother and her illness, he put his hand over her head and finds himself inside her head, and he describes what he sees in there, he grabs the image of her pain and pulls it into himself...after this she never has pain again!! He says he is scientifically minded, his whole family is...and they began to look into how this wierd event could happen. "Your own thoughts influence your own health"
He believes in energy healing. Which is intriguing to me, because I also think there is something to it...however, I am still skeptical.
He espouses maintaining an open mind, which I agree with. I think in order for change, positive change to happen an open mind must be present. LOL and he really likes Blink 182 "All the small things"

Civil Service and Language

I am currently listening to CBC radio and the discussion is centred around Civil Service and the requirement of bilingualism for the job. Two women who are already Civil Servants were interviewed. Both had been told that they will not advance in their jobs if they can't speak french fluently. Both had minimal handle on french...probably the same level as me...one of them even went for french training however she couldn't get to a fluent level. Four million francophones in Canada, mostly residing in Quebec. The argument is that we are losing contact points for this society. The concern is that there is not much out there reflecting a bilingual Canada, which in turn is isolating those who only speak French.
Someone brought up the notion that the issue is a Canadian Crisis...an issue that won't go away. How do we deal with it? I feel for those in Quebec and I appreciate Canada is comprised of two very distinct languages (keeping in mind all the Aboriginal languages we don't even acknowledge) Although I also have personal feelings on the subject as well. I only know a smattering of French...enough to perhaps get me a cup of coffee and maybe some directions, outside of that knowledge I would be dead in the water in Quebec. However, I have no intention on going to Quebec...so far it hasn't popped into my head at all. And furthermore I reside in the West, VERY far from Quebec. So why are we forcing people who live far away from, and will more than likely never come in contact with to learn french?
Okay and this is where I become a real shithead in the whole discussion. Because I am holding onto the idea that if I ever have a child I will enroll the child into a french emmersion school. Now, wait, my reasoning isn't because my child will learn a second language fluently, my reasoning is because studies show that children who attend french emmersion schools have much higher academic achievment rates, they have better reading and writing skills. In addition to academic achievement there are studies that show the same children are less likely to fall into lives of addiction and criminality...all from going to french emmersion?? I would rather take my chances with french emmersion then english speaking public school, where increasingly we are seeing children and teenagers pushed through the system. The standards for writing and reading are lowering!
What to do with our friends in Quebec? I don't want them to go anywhere, I think they are valuable...on the same token I don't want anyone to be forced to learn the language and result in loss of advancement.

Friday, March 17, 2006

If you want...I can't always fill your desire

I realize now I have begun the invitations to participate here in my blog-o-sphere. And that is what I want. I want participation. If anyone reading this has something to say, say it...if there is a link you think I need to see, show me...
Should have called this site "Educate me"...LOL

Perspective


Finally, a picture of me. I was experimenting with a web cam that was loaned to me. Some of the pictures at the time turned out fantastically, however I have changed since those pictures were taken. This is one of the pictures remaining where I feel I am captured as I am (or at least a facet of who I perceive myself to be)

1000 words


This picture has for a long time captured something in me. Well, I can't honestly say a long time, since November 28th, when my brother died. I am not sure how but the picture came into my life at the precise moment I was feeling the loss of my brother. Ever since I have attached it to my MSN messenger picture. I have no clue if the women are related or friends. I like to imagine they are friends, sisters of the heart if you will, and they have come to help their sister, hold her in her pain, her suffering. The are encircling her and protecting her and sharing her grief.

Beginnings

Okay I am beginning. I am taking part in the the blogging revolution. However after several years of blogging being on the world wide web scene I guess I am no longer part of the revolution. Finally, after some drooling over Todd's site and wondering how in the world would I compose a site that I could maintain and perhaps make interesting, I made the decision. Now, the word interesting popped up, doesn't necessarily mean what is read here will be interesting.
Currently, I am using this site to escape...perhaps procrastinate from doing my academic work. I am also using it to make me look busy and doing 'important' STUFF!

My true intention is that when something pops into my head...when I come across something fascinating I will come here and document my fascination. Hopefully as time goes by I will be able to reflect and build a network that will force me to articulate my fascination.