Wednesday, April 26, 2006

DONE...almost...


Okay, so my hands are becoming slightly overused. I just finished writing my last final exam I will ever write as an undergrad. In two hours I responded to four questions and used three booklets to do so. My hand is throbbing right now and I think my brain melted. Now I am going to complete my 35 page paper and my prof can dream about me doing anymore than that!! I can't believe I am done! I am so scared and yet so completely exhilarated! How the hell did I get this far? And no-one has found out I am a complete fraud!! YAHOOO...SUCKERS! Just joking...or am I? I need to find a good hand surgeon...academia is a killer on the hand bones!

Yes I am moving April 29th...yes I have a couch and a cot...yes you all worship me and adore me...yes, I smell!

Friday, April 21, 2006

The final Countdown


Well, I am moving into the phase of final countdown to moving day. I realize as I get older, that moving is a painful process. I was packing boxes last weekend and re-arranging different areas of my home and the next day my body violently protested. I was a bit upset at first with my bodies reaction to my preparations, especially since I have been exercising regularly lately...granted my exercise does not include bending and lifting, however I thought perhaps my exercise would stave off some of the pain. NO. So I began to think about what moving day will do to my body and I don't have one body to worry about I also have the body of my partner to worry about. Especially since it will be our first night sleeping together in OUR home...and he will be sore, and I will be sore...and we will still have to get up the next day and run about trying to pull OUR home together. Thankfully, a wonderful friend has made the process easier by lending us his truck. Which I find as a great honour that he trusts me and partner enough with his transportation. And here is where I get really excited about moving day...because you really get to know who is in it for the long haul and who isn't. I have learned in my life that friends come and go quite frequently. However, that doesn't mean stop making friends because they are fleeting, what it does mean though is to watch a friends behaviour while they are in your life. The friends I cherish the most are the ones who can manage truly selfless acts. They inspire me to continually strive to do selfless acts myself. Granted it is more effort and work helping others at the expense of your comfort and time...however, the way I percieve my behaviour is that should I die dead in front of this computer right now, I will die content knowing that I tried....and that I don't have to move next Saturday!! JUST JOKING!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

What it isn't September yet?!?!


Okay I have sitting on some big news lately. Nothing is official...in the sense that the university has not contacted me to say "She you are accepted" however I am in the Masters program of UBC-O. YEAH! Okay, but that really isn't the big news. I think it was kind of a given I would end up in the program...what is big is the money. It wasn't long ago that my supervisor sat me down and said, "This university has no money for your studies, you have to think long and hard if you want to do this because you will have to fund most of it" Of course I freaked out but made the awful decision that I will go ahead and do my studies at the university. So, I began compiling lists of people who had grants and needed R.A.'s, I also applied for some scholarships and started mapping times of application for other scholarships. I was determined to do the next step in my education.
Well here is the beauty of life...especially for me...turns out there was an angel on my shoulder and he has email! I was emailed by a former professor who happened to have some money lying around for a student like me!! WOOT! For two years I will be getting two lump sum payments that will make life absolutely lovely!! I am so stoked and happy!
Okay the part that will hurt and I have to say sorry to all those friends who I said I would visit in the summer...SORRY...cause I am back in classes may 16th!! I am doing the Summer Institute which will save me from having to design my own courses...and while I am pooped I would rather not have to design a course just yet...forget several courses.
WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Canada we are proud of...hmm


Canadians win freedom for Chinese dissident
After years of punishment for defacing Mao portrait, Lu 'grateful' to be here
ROD MICKLEBURGH

From Wednesday's Globe and Mail

VANCOUVER — Lu Decheng, who spent nine years in a Chinese jail for splotching the famous portrait of Chairman Mao in Tiananmen Square, is safe and sound in Canada after Canadian authorities secured his release from a Thai detention centre.

The 43-year-old former bus driver, smiling broadly, was greeted upon his arrival at Vancouver International Airport yesterday by a relieved group of pro-democracy activists who had been at the forefront of efforts to bring him to Canada.

Speaking through an interpreter, Mr. Lu said he was exhilarated to be in a country "with a civil society where I can breathe the air of freedom. I am very grateful."

Activists credited behind-the-scenes diplomacy by the federal Conservative government for winning Mr. Lu's freedom, after Thai officials, acting on pressure from China, kept him locked up despite the fact that he had a valid immigrant's visa to Canada.

"The government got involved and that was probably the reason he was released in such a short time," said Cheuk Kwan, chair of the Toronto Association for Democracy in China.

"It's a refreshing change [from the Liberals] to have a government putting emphasis on human rights over pure trade and business. They did a good job."

Mr. Lu was one of three boyhood friends who travelled from Hunan province to the mass student demonstrations in Tiananmen Square in 1989.

The trio decided to make their own protest by hurling egg shells filled with coloured dye at Chairman Mao's huge portrait. But students quickly corralled the three young men and turned them over to police.

All were treated far more severely than any of the student protesters, receiving prison sentences from 16 years to life for "counter-revolutionary" activities.

Yu Dongyue, the last of the three to be released, was not freed until Feb. 22 this year. Family members have said he is now like a child, driven mad by years of solitary confinement and beatings.

Although he was paroled in 1998, Mr. Lu said Chinese authorities continued to hound him, making it impossible for him to earn a living.

He slipped out of China in late 2004, he explained yesterday, seeking to escape Chinese harassment and to publicize the prison plight of Mr. Yu.

"One of us had to get out and tell the world how the Communist regime treated us in prison," Mr. Lu said.

But when Chinese authorities learned that Canada had granted Mr. Lu refugee status earlier this year, they put pressure on Thailand to keep him in custody while seeking his return to China.

"China . . . does not have any so-called 'political refugees,' " a statement by the Chinese Foreign Ministry declared. "Lu Decheng left China in violation of Chinese laws."

Mr. Lu already had a March 14 plane ticket to Vancouver when the Chinese intervened and the date passed.

Now, he is free, on his way to Calgary to finally begin his new life in Canada.

The case was considered an early test of the Conservatives' pre-election pledge to place a greater emphasis on human rights in China than past Liberal governments have done.

Kim Girtel, a spokeswoman for the Department of Foreign Affairs, shed few details on how Mr. Lu's release was arranged.

"We did see reports alleging that Mr. Lu was having difficulty exiting Thailand, and we communicated our concern to Thai authorities," she said, declining further comment.

Citing weariness from 22 hours of travel, Mr. Lu declined to go into a lot of detail about his youthful, anti-Maoist escapade. "It's a very long story, and my mind is kind of muddy right now."

But at one point, he smiled at the recollection of putting the oil-based dye into the egg shells.

"The worst thing was that it was not the Chinese police who caught us. It was the students who took us to the police," Mr. Lu said. "Of course, it was a very regretful incident."

Monday, April 10, 2006

Great idea :P


Okay, so I thought it would be a great idea to write about how home is constructed in our collective imaginations as well as our individual imagination. The construction of home is also a component to our collective and individual identity as functioning human beings. I also thought I would extend the idea further and talk about the effects of displacement and how that impacts ideas of home and identities linked with home. Home in my context can be the actual structure in which a person lives, a nieghbourhood, or even a country. All places are imagined realities of home.
Now begin laughing because I have to write twelve pages on the subject and just realized I have no freaking clue what I am doing! Do I even have a thesis? Not sure. Did I mention I have to have the paper done by Wednesday April 12th? And it is Monday...and well...nothing is written...notes are taken, kinda...
I hate myself.
I think my anxiety stems from the professor (before he knew what I was doing) saying "Goodthing you aren't an English major)....I AM AN ENGLISH MAJOR!! Oh the horror!
I can at least find good pictures. I like the whole homeless wolf image...what is the wolf without grandma's house?

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Incentive...

So as I am doing my usual "I have a 12 page paper due so I will not work on it until the last minute because I have tonnes of time now to work on it" routine. I come across this picture:

Seriously, do I need encouragement? I mean, if the picture is worth a thousand words then the language is full enough in meaning...I can put off whatever I want, cause I will succeed. BAH!
Freaking procrastination, harder to give up than smoking!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Little things...


Okay, so the kingston is my life. MMmm, better said the kingston contains my academic life. I religiously and dutifully carry the thing with me everywhere. So, last night, I am furiously working away...sleep deprived and slightly delerious...very positive I put the little gadget in my school bag. So then where is it? Cause it has my essay and research on it!!!


So I am starting to look like this guy! Although, picture him huddled in a corner, under a desk...and that is the little freak inside my head right now!
And I would really love to wear this shirt right now! Especially when dealing with the Currie...only cause I would hope he would offer to be choked. Why did he give me more work?

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

breaking point


I feel fairly fragile right now. This is part of the process I hate the most. I am completely and fully stressed. I have broken down two times today, crying. I probably wouldn't if I was worrying less, eating more and sleeping better. I am not though...I have no choice to either. The life of a student is fairly okay except for two weeks each semester...where everything culminates and piles on heavily. I feel extra special vulnerable, because my life is going in a fully new direction, both academically and personally. Also, when I am stressed my brother comes to me more and that hurts, alot. I love my brother but I am too weak right now to take on my pain regarding not having him with me. Just a bit longer and the gut kicking will slow down.

Okay, I know the picture isn't pleasant to look at. However, in my defense niether is four months of a topic about death. And the culmination of the four months spent studing Medieval Death Literature is my essay about a woman who is complaining to the worms who are eating her rotting corpse. The picture was the best I could come up with in terms of "Worm Food"...which is the title of my essay...although, I may change the title to "Worms Meat"...I like that more! I am one day away from submitting the essay and the process is always a self-defeating one because I am constantly thinking I am not doing something right, I haven't linked enough sentences, I haven't introduced enough quotes or I introduced too many quotes. I am too broad, I am too narrow...ERGH!!
Really, the topic I think matches my sentiments about essay writing. Why do the professors (worms) always have to chew on my work (body)? Oh right becuase I shouldn't be so concerned with my work (body) I should be more concerned with my soul?? Nope doesn't apply...although my work is continuously turned into Worms Meat!!

Monday, April 03, 2006

ERGH


Okay, for the next two weeks I will be full of self-loathing. Why? Because I actually have to write and submitt essays. Now the process is easy to talk about, although when I begin the application of actually writing and then the whole process of waiting for a mark which does NOT reflect my effort and understanding....well I end up hating myself...especially when the jackass behind me says "essay writing is a no-brainer" Now I toddle myself up to the writing centre in search for a couple more percent than I got on the last essay. I can't wait till the whole process is over and I can write creatively again. Seriously feel like the life is being sucked out of me.
Came up for a wonderful idea to spur on my creative process. I will try something image driven...little spots of imagining...see what crops up. Of course that will be AFTER classes and exams are done!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Time, time, time....



Woot, that special time of the year has arrived where every third clock in my house isn't the correct time and I spend the next three days trying figure out what time it is and do I gain an hour of sleep or lose an hour of sleep? That argument NEVER dies!!! What begins the whole tirade on Daylight savings time...well because my genius computer recognize time change but my alarm clock and cell CAN'T! And as a result I am all discombobulated. Tomorrow, will begin the discussion about sleep...someone, I know someone will bring it up! Thought the roomie would but she finally huffed out of the house!

I should have chewed off my leg!

Okay, perhaps it isn't all that bad...it as in having a roommate! Wait, yes it is! Especially when she is a self-absorbed messy freak! I have been looking forward to the days when she isn't home. Today was suppose to be one of them! Unfortunately she is home and she is noisy! And apparently she doesn't care.
Really I should have chewed my leg off and ran, limped, crawled for the hills when I heard the sentence "Wanna move in together?"
Now I think I need this book...