What she told me...

Nice picture....of a cancer cell. How can something be so beatiful and wonderfully composed and yet kill so efficiently?



A very dear friend yesterday managed to get me on the phone. For those of you who have my number you know what an amazing feat that is!! We had a nice quick conversation while I headed toward class. Near the end of the conversation she quickly said, "I felt a lump in my armpit...it is sore". I stopped walking, the courtyard at the campus seemed to close in on me and I noticed the grass seemed really green. Odd things to sense. I went to all the wrong places in my head, I may have even panicked on the phone. I asked her if she had seen her doctor.."no"...she wondered if it was important enough for her to go to the walk-in clinic? I said 'yes'. I said yes because I felt it was more important for me to know she had seen a professional, it was more important for me to know someone who is rational could look at her lump and say, "you're okay". Although, in my head I was freaking out! Jaidan had a lump, it was sore...he died four months later. And that is where I went with my dear friend...I didn't say these thoughts to her, but I did start crying and because she is my friend she knew where I went and she attempted to change the subject...although I didn't let her until she said she would go to the walk-in clinic and get an opinion on the lump...I made her PROMISE as well as told her to call me and keep me updated. I was standing in the courtyard fighting hard as hell to fight back my tears. She kept talking but I wonder if I was there because I was trying to figure out if I could survive her sickness. So selfish I know...it is her life, however she has affected me so profoundly. She is a piece of me and I don't have many pieces so I really want to hold on to her. I thought immediately I wouldn't make it through the grief of losing her. Although ten seconds later I became angry and realized I would survive. I, like many others, continue to go on, to fight past the pain.
The sigh of relief to my whole story is I got a phone message approximately two - three hours later, it was her saying, 'I went to the doctor and it is a cyst and he gave me a prescription for anti-biotics'...WOOT! Now I can continue trying to convince her to adopt children!! Cause mighty-o-lady she is and there are children who need her brand of loving and cheer!