I always dreamt that I would keep a dream diary. I know I dream, and I often I don't remember the dream unless I consciously fight for it...or the other alternative is my dream comes true and I realize in the moment that I dreamt what is actually happening before me (whole other story).
Anyways, last night I had a dream and I remember waking up at 3:01am and promptly deciding I needed to remember this dream. I am going to use names without reference to who they are...if you are in my life you may know, and if you aren't well just enjoy a snippet of a story ...or not.
Initially it began with Meghan hanging out with me. I knew she had decided to let her other committments go so she could hang out with me. I also could feel a sense of her father, and that he would be disproving (in real life he wouldn't and she wouldn't). Anyways, she repeats the behaviour of hanging out with me and cutting class, of which I question her, but let it drop because I enjoy her company. Finally her father calls me and yells and yells at me, that I am a bad influence, that Meghan shouldn't be missing classes and that he never wants her to hang out with me again. Of course I am distraught, but it is time for the dream to progress...the scene shifts where I end up in a hall, perhaps attached to rec centre or events place. It is dinner, buffet style? perhaps, in any event lots of tables, long, covered with white linen and people eating dinner...I know my table is long, maybe 20-30 people at it...near where I sit, is Sylvie, Cam, and Meghan, also my mother and someone else is there, which I know is important but slips me at the moment, someone affiliated with my mother. The dinner is tense because Cam is still angry that Meghan is spending time with me, and now he has to sit at the same table as me. Sylvie is trying to placate and assure everyone that this is nothing to get worked up about. Somewhere in the midst of all the tension on one side of me, the whole dining area breaks out into prayer...I hear a voice on the PA system ask everyone to open their bibles to a particular psalm and begin the hymms. Immediately I know I am not having any part of this and I can't believe people have brought me to a dinner that is actually a mass prayer God worship situation. I had the sense that everyone is trying to convert me, and that they refuse to accept that I can't be converted. So I immediately excuse myself from the table, which turns out is a huge NO NO...people do not get up...almost like sacrilege. My act of getting up from the table, my act of moving during prayer indicates that I am not in line with God (interesting how that worked in a dream). My mother immediately begins wailing "no sheila, come back, please, please pray" and she is wailing and screaming, but my only instinct and desire is to flee the room. Which I do successfully, but I am still filled with anxiety that she will try and come and find me once the prayer session is over, so instead of heading to the lobby, I duck into another room in the events place. I like this place. It is filled with a variety of clothing and cloths and innovative creations that are wearable and full of BRIGHT colours and flowers and leathers, almost hippy-esque. I touch the cloths and wonder how I can get them for myself even though I have no money. Other people are in there admiring the racks upon racks of clothing...and the clothing is hanging from the cieling, so you are immersed fully, and can't see the other aisles, it is just you and the bright colours and fabrics. I love it and feel safe and the thought that I will be found is almost gone...
Then I wake up.
2 comments:
My dream scape has been definately over-active myself these days..yeesh! I dozed off today for ten minutes and immediately fell into a deep scape of something...not too sure what or where but I went somewhere else that's for sure!
Dreams say a lot to us for it's our subconscious acting out in the best way it knows how.
The things that pop out the most to me is the end sequence when you walk into a big hall for dinner.
Dear Friend! You are not one to fall into a category of anything other than what you yourself make it to be. I love that fact about you! You are the one to tick the "Other" box on most forms and that's amazing!
Perhaps you are feeling right now that you are being forced into a way of being that you don't want. People are yelling at you to do *exactly* as your told and your nature rebukes that. Ask you to do something and you'll happily oblige. TELL you to do something and you turn tail and run. Ha. I know that all too well myself.
Perhaps your currently trying to sluff off old ways of being and functioning (your mother and what that *represents* to you..not her in particular but what she stands for in your life). Religion is an interesting interpretation on it all for I stand with you on it...not one to follow the herd and follow a God.
Then by finding a room filled with differences, unique clothing and articles that were pleasing to the eye and all senses. Mmmm. I feel ya sista! Your comfort level was fed in the looking at all the cool stuff....yet you felt that you couldn't afford any of it...that you still couldn't achieve that.
But you can. And you will! I know for I've seen it in you from the minute you bellowed my name across the Pass Bar loud enough for folks in China to hear!
Don't give into the Okanagan Society and all that it stands for. It's not the be all and end all. You've seen other ways of existing in this life via real hands on experience and know what else can await your bright spirit! Know that you're time is limited there and the end is near! When it's all said and done your free to go where you choose and do as you really *want* to do.
Most importantly when looking at a dream is to take the actual figures out of it and look at what they represent to you (what does Meghan represent to you on the overall). What kind of things do you associate with the larger symbols in the dream? How did it leave you feeling in the end?
Hope this helps! Keep on dream journaling!!!
Mucho MuchO love to YOU!
Oh I so love your interpretation! Ya, I knew when I was writing it down, what exactly was going on..>I was really proud of my dream self for standing up and walking out rather than conforming...and I really did find the clothing and colours part amazing...there is alot in that scene about me wanting something and being comforted by its presence and yet knowing I am not able to attain it...actually in the dream I was trying to figure out how I could steal it, but then wrestled with feelings of guilt if I did steal it...so no stealing it...that also spoke volumes to me and what I am wrestling with in my waking world...that whole dream in fact was very loaded with what I am dealing with now! Much more beautiful though...
Thankyou for your input. The Okanagan piece...do you know I feel something calling me to work here?? It could be the straw that will break my back...but I feel like I need fight against this conservative whiteness...I might get shot! LOL...ugh..hate mail...dreading that day! I expect in about a year I will get lots of it, especially when I start talking to the news about my research...ugh...it's okay though attack me for bringing out in the light the shameful behaviour that has prevailed in the Valley!
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