Dream Diary?

I always dreamt that I would keep a dream diary. I know I dream, and I often I don't remember the dream unless I consciously fight for it...or the other alternative is my dream comes true and I realize in the moment that I dreamt what is actually happening before me (whole other story).

Anyways, last night I had a dream and I remember waking up at 3:01am and promptly deciding I needed to remember this dream. I am going to use names without reference to who they are...if you are in my life you may know, and if you aren't well just enjoy a snippet of a story ...or not.

Initially it began with Meghan hanging out with me. I knew she had decided to let her other committments go so she could hang out with me. I also could feel a sense of her father, and that he would be disproving (in real life he wouldn't and she wouldn't). Anyways, she repeats the behaviour of hanging out with me and cutting class, of which I question her, but let it drop because I enjoy her company. Finally her father calls me and yells and yells at me, that I am a bad influence, that Meghan shouldn't be missing classes and that he never wants her to hang out with me again. Of course I am distraught, but it is time for the dream to progress...the scene shifts where I end up in a hall, perhaps attached to rec centre or events place. It is dinner, buffet style? perhaps, in any event lots of tables, long, covered with white linen and people eating dinner...I know my table is long, maybe 20-30 people at it...near where I sit, is Sylvie, Cam, and Meghan, also my mother and someone else is there, which I know is important but slips me at the moment, someone affiliated with my mother. The dinner is tense because Cam is still angry that Meghan is spending time with me, and now he has to sit at the same table as me. Sylvie is trying to placate and assure everyone that this is nothing to get worked up about. Somewhere in the midst of all the tension on one side of me, the whole dining area breaks out into prayer...I hear a voice on the PA system ask everyone to open their bibles to a particular psalm and begin the hymms. Immediately I know I am not having any part of this and I can't believe people have brought me to a dinner that is actually a mass prayer God worship situation. I had the sense that everyone is trying to convert me, and that they refuse to accept that I can't be converted. So I immediately excuse myself from the table, which turns out is a huge NO NO...people do not get up...almost like sacrilege. My act of getting up from the table, my act of moving during prayer indicates that I am not in line with God (interesting how that worked in a dream). My mother immediately begins wailing "no sheila, come back, please, please pray" and she is wailing and screaming, but my only instinct and desire is to flee the room. Which I do successfully, but I am still filled with anxiety that she will try and come and find me once the prayer session is over, so instead of heading to the lobby, I duck into another room in the events place. I like this place. It is filled with a variety of clothing and cloths and innovative creations that are wearable and full of BRIGHT colours and flowers and leathers, almost hippy-esque. I touch the cloths and wonder how I can get them for myself even though I have no money. Other people are in there admiring the racks upon racks of clothing...and the clothing is hanging from the cieling, so you are immersed fully, and can't see the other aisles, it is just you and the bright colours and fabrics. I love it and feel safe and the thought that I will be found is almost gone...

Then I wake up.

A slow day in the posting world

I guess I should count myself lucky I don't have a readership, otherwise I would get complaints about why I am not posting as frequently as I once did.
Do you ever get the feeling like you are saying the same thing over and over again? I do. And really how much can one take of the same song? Scratch that...I know of songs I can listen to over and over again...and no I am not talking about Crimson and Clover!!!
Lately, the road of life and academia has felt utterly hectic and overwhelming! So as indicated I am in the last semester of course work, which is liberating and confining all at once!
I have a research proposal and an ethics proposal I want to work on and complete. I also have a housing course with the most task driven professor I have ever met in my life and by the end of his course I will have written a sum total of 65 pages...and that's just what is asked from the syllabus, who knows what else he will ask for!!! So I am expecting for this semester to write close to if not above a 100 pages grand total....that addition makes me want to nap. And then there is my other problem, I see the mountain of work I have to do, and suddenly a nap seems like a great idea and there I am napping!! I think I am one of the most well rested graduate students ever to exist!!! I can't stop sleeping!!! And I am not joking, I am addicted to sleep...I sleep whenever I can for as long as I can!! At some point a person can't be tired, but somehow I manage it...miraculous...no.
Although, my research question has drummed itself out, my research methodology has drummed itself out...and everything is progressing along in a very timely fashion.
But then I watch CHBC news...with a small amount of glee to see Sean Harvey get jailed and wish that we could jail Prez Bush and few other politicians, but okay Sean can be my frustration goat! Weirdly, murders and round-abouts are the run of the mill in local news....the top end of the news is completely benign and filled with stories about construction and roads and then voila we move onto Rhonda Black and another fellow murderer whose name escapes me right now...and I begin to wonder when Court TV will begin to feature the Okanagan the crime hotspot with lots of roundabouts??!!!???
And this is what you are left with a pile of nothing. Absolutely no entertainment that I can provide you...and just the satisfaction that a year from now I will look back over this post and realize how simpy and wimpy my life is as a researcher!

Return of the Semester

Well, it is time for yet another semester to begin. January 8th and the following week will result in the usual line-ups and mixed feelings about tuition, bus passes, text purchases and syllabi's. I went into the bookstore today to purchase the one and only text I will need "Readme First". It was a very reluctant purchase as my funds were lacking and I was just as content to photocopy, unfortunately the text has a CD-ROM which turns out to be integral to the course and my ability to do research. I stood before the books and gazed at some of the courses and their required readings...I had mixed feelings because there was plenty of material that looked VERY interesting to me and yet I was glad that I am no longer an undergraduate who has to slog through 8 to 12 books in a semester. Don't get me wrong the Master's program is not a reading dream come true, in fact there might be more reading, but one doesn't notice so much because a large portion of the reading centres on personal interests. I made the right decision. So, hopefully funds will get easier and I can make the return to the bookstore and buy the books students didn't for my own personal enjoyment...I am that much of a dork.

On that note, I also came to the campus early...January 2nd early. Granted my work requires me to show up a little earlier, but the other reason is that I enjoy the quiet campus. Just me and the staff. No noisy students cluttering and littering hallways, no cramped busses, no messy bathrooms, and unfettered librarians...truly a beautiful thing. My goal this summer is to bring my rollerblades and skate the hallways...that is how empty the campus is!!

This is the semester where my research question is expected to cement itself, where my methodology and method will be clarified and I will write for the ethics board...this seems all so sureal and yet I know this means I am that much closer to being done my Masters!! Gosh!

Hooray for 2007! Welcome back everyone!